I started to think that I was never going to get over the pain of this loss. Therapy has the ability to make us face our feelings and fears. I strongly recommend it as it was recommended to me, so that I return to my life without feeling half.
Indeed, the show must go on. Life doesn't stop regardless of how much I want it...Life continues.
It is absolutely amazing to me how this juxtaposition works: on the one side you have this earth-shattering, life-changing event of losing your mom and on the other side you have the earth which continues to spin around itself and the sun; you have the sun which always rises and sets every single day; you have work days to which you have to lend yourself; you have other happy events happening such as the birthday of a dear friend, the birth of a new life.
How amazing is that!
I love life, but I wish I had more time with her. I wish I never left her two months ago, although I did for good reasons and because I was respecting her wishes. I wish I had told her one last time how much I love her. I wish that I could give her one more hug like the one I gave her when she came to visit resulting in a broken set of very expensive glasses. I wish that she was still alive, continuing to be the lighthouse in my life, continuing not to advice me, but to listen and ask questions. I regret leaving her. I regret it.
I am so sorry mom, I am so sorry, I' m sorry, I love you
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment