oh, and I am no longer hiding my identity, my fears, my disadvantages or my aspirations!

my mom's birthday

Today is the first time in my twenty eight years of life that I almost forgot my mom's birthday.
She passed away nine months ago.
Can you get over a loss in nine months?
Or is it that life comes at you fast that sometimes you forget important dates? Or is it that I wanted to block it from my memory so I wouldn't have to face the fact that she will not pick up the phone when I call home!
Either way, happy birthday mom!

realizations

It's amazing what being out in the wilderness can do to a person.
Lately I have been lacking the motivation to finish my thesis
All I have been wanting to do is watch bad television shows
Shows that allow me to escape to a different reality
One that is not mine
One that is fake
and as such, it cannot touch me
it cannot hurt me
it does not give me stress,
but it makes me cry and laugh
two very real behaviors that provide me with a false sense of living
And then, two miles and boat loads of sweating later I found myself on top of a mountain
I found myself living in a metaphor
"if I can climb this mountain I can finish my thesis"
I saw me climb the mountain
I felt the snow flakes on my face
I felt an extraordinary sense of accomplishment
the kind that I haven't had in a while
Two days later I am determined that this thesis will be done
I am determined that I will not fail
as much failings as I have had, personal and professional
this one will not be part them!
My reality is similar to other people's
yet, very different
as silly as it sounds the little things of our everyday life make it worth living
the difficulties or the long processes make us appreciate the promptness of other things
if anyone ever asks my what's it like writing a thesis
I will say that it's like a four mile long, moderate hike
at some parts it seems endless, but once you make it to the top
you have to come back to the parking lot and complete your journey!