Tuesday, August 26, 2008

family ties

what a different summer this has been....
it has been full of work, deck building, a trip to Peru, missing my family....
and baby talk.
My husband is much better at enjoying the moment, living in today and not expect tomorrow...
I am not...
I want strong family ties, the kind I have back home.
I want that before we have children.
I want to be able to call my sister-in-law and just chat. I can't do that with either of them.
I want to be able to go next to another family member's home. I can't do that either!
I would love it if my in-laws were really close to us. My husband, not so much.
I have to say that since I started work I can see the difficulty of raising a family without any help.
I can't blame those who choose to stay close to family to get some help. I wish I could do that too.
But, the reality is that there is no one here and that is incredibly scary!
I am particularly scared of the pressure that is going to put on my relationship with my husband. My in-laws love each other, but their relationship went through some rough times because they had to manage all by themselves. I don't want that for my relationship with my husband!
These thoughts have been in the back of my mind and I seem to have increased difficulty articulating them to my husband.
I hope you read this... I hope you understand and try to do something about this.....