flirt with me
flatter me
look at me
smile at me
hold my hand
kiss me
talk to me
hug me
fight for me
love me
be with me?
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
once upon a lonely time
In the last two years I have been afraid...afraid to let go, afraid to be alone...afraid of the silence, but also of unknown sounds. Ever since you left us, I have been afraid!
Once upon a long time ago, I was told that bad things will happen to me if I let them...and now there are only good things in my life...yet, I can only feel your absence. especially this month....I hate the month of March!
Two years later it still feels like it was yesterday and all I can remember in these times of loneliness is your words "only family matters, they are the only ones who will always love you and be there for you..." where are you now? where are you? why are you not here with me? why? and why, as time goes by, I feel your absence even more?
I have a husband who loves me (a lot). I have a father who is as healthy as he can be at age 68 and who does everything he can to support me in every imaginable way. I have a brother who has become my best friend and another brother who loves me in his own way. I have friends who will be there in case of emergency...I have a dog who no matter what time I come home he is always ecstatic to see me. I have two degrees and I am going for a third, even though I am searching for the motivation to finish. I see myself in the mirror and I see someone who is worth fighting for and respect....and I see a woman who is trying to be strong and happy.
yet, these days there is a sadness...a feeling of loneliness ...
mom, help me get through this month.
please....I embrace me sadness and recognize that it will go away....once my husband comes home, once I have his companionship again. I recognize that this my needyness will go away...I am not good at reaching out for help, but now I am...I am reaching out to people for some interaction, even though I came out with nothing....
Ok, my rant is done!
Once upon a long time ago, I was told that bad things will happen to me if I let them...and now there are only good things in my life...yet, I can only feel your absence. especially this month....I hate the month of March!
Two years later it still feels like it was yesterday and all I can remember in these times of loneliness is your words "only family matters, they are the only ones who will always love you and be there for you..." where are you now? where are you? why are you not here with me? why? and why, as time goes by, I feel your absence even more?
I have a husband who loves me (a lot). I have a father who is as healthy as he can be at age 68 and who does everything he can to support me in every imaginable way. I have a brother who has become my best friend and another brother who loves me in his own way. I have friends who will be there in case of emergency...I have a dog who no matter what time I come home he is always ecstatic to see me. I have two degrees and I am going for a third, even though I am searching for the motivation to finish. I see myself in the mirror and I see someone who is worth fighting for and respect....and I see a woman who is trying to be strong and happy.
yet, these days there is a sadness...a feeling of loneliness ...
mom, help me get through this month.
please....I embrace me sadness and recognize that it will go away....once my husband comes home, once I have his companionship again. I recognize that this my needyness will go away...I am not good at reaching out for help, but now I am...I am reaching out to people for some interaction, even though I came out with nothing....
Ok, my rant is done!
Monday, March 24, 2008
thoughts about race
Coming from a small, until recently very homogeneous country I have become a lot more sensitive to issues of race. I don't treat racial issues as jokes as I did ignorantly before I came to the States.
But, since I re-flamed my passion in politics, I found the opportunity to think about race in America. This morning the Round Table on WAMC asked the question "what can we do to improve racial relationships today?" My very simple answer to this question is "talk about it." Talk about race without fear. Acknowledge the racism of our economic system, which ironically is not dependent on color, but class and income. Our economic system perpetuates a cycle of injustice: the school funding which is dependent on property taxes. An underfunded school district is more likely to be of lower quality and not enable students to get into good colleges and get better, higher paid jobs. This, in turn, will lead to people who live in inner cities to be constrained to lower paying jobs because they did not get a good education! If this is not racism that is systemic, embedded in our institutions, well, I don't know what it is!
I am a white, middle-class woman, who has experienced sexism in my interpersonal relationships. Yet, I believe that my children will never experience the constraints that the children of black woman will. That infuriates me, and honestly, it should infuriate you!
But, since I re-flamed my passion in politics, I found the opportunity to think about race in America. This morning the Round Table on WAMC asked the question "what can we do to improve racial relationships today?" My very simple answer to this question is "talk about it." Talk about race without fear. Acknowledge the racism of our economic system, which ironically is not dependent on color, but class and income. Our economic system perpetuates a cycle of injustice: the school funding which is dependent on property taxes. An underfunded school district is more likely to be of lower quality and not enable students to get into good colleges and get better, higher paid jobs. This, in turn, will lead to people who live in inner cities to be constrained to lower paying jobs because they did not get a good education! If this is not racism that is systemic, embedded in our institutions, well, I don't know what it is!
I am a white, middle-class woman, who has experienced sexism in my interpersonal relationships. Yet, I believe that my children will never experience the constraints that the children of black woman will. That infuriates me, and honestly, it should infuriate you!
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